Nursing and Single Parenthood?
Ok, I'm a single mum as the title says, my son is 18 months old and I'm 21, his dad isn't involved, and we're English. When he was born, I applied to study nursing in London (I live about two hours away so we'd move). To my amazement I was given an unconditional offer at one of the two top places in the country to do it. I ended up deferring that year as it was looking difficult to start it all then with my son so young. Then by the end of last year things were looking pretty impossible. I'd be working irregular shifts, including the odd very occasional nightshift, leading to massive childcare problems, I think the only way I could do it was if I had an au pair, which would mean needing an extra room which I don't know if I could afford. I'd be working many hours a day and then coming home and having to do more work and I was worrying I'd get no time with my son. And I'd be in London, and although it's my dream to move away and start a new life elsewhere and this is probably my only opportunity, the fact that I have a baby and no friends or family around there is a bit nervewracking. So I ended up declining my place, and now I'm studying an Open University degree in history from home, which is ok but not particularly inspiring if I'm honest, and I still live with my dad which is driving me slowly insane. However now they've been sending me welcome letters and I've just had an answerphone message asking if I'm still going to be attending in September, so they have obviously neglected to record the fact that I've withdrawn, so it feels like I've been given another opportunity. I need to ring back today or tomorrow and let them know and I just don't know what to do. Everything seems to be pointing against me doing it, but it just feels like I'm turning down a massive opportunity to study somewhere really good and be directed straight into a stable career. And this is my last chance, because in future years they are getting rid of the diploma in nursing, and I don't have the qualifications to get onto the degree. However I would not sacrifice my relationship with my son for anything in the world. But I really don't know if it's going to be as bad as I'm imagining. I also think that, even when I'm done studying, working as a nurse and being a single mother is going to mean I'm missing a lot of things for my son. His birthday is 3 days after Christmas so statistically I would miss at least one of these occasions every year, for example, and I hate the thought of him being stuck with relatives without me. Has anybody done this, or been close to anybody who has? Be completely honest with me - is it a viable option for a single parent, both the studying and the actual career? Or do I need to say goodbye to it and keep doing what I'm doing now?
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1 :
My friend is in a very similar situation. She is 22 and has a 3 year old and is returning to college this september to study nursing. She is paying for a playschool during the day and her mother is taking him in the evenings. You should not let this place go it is a fantastic opportunity for both of you. Are there any creche facilities on campus? I know in the college that my friend has applied for there are and they are subsidised. Then it would be a matter of organising a babysitter for when you doing your hospital rotations. Are there any family members mother, brother, sisters, cousins, other friends with kids that could help out?
2 :
School is always important, parent or not. The question isn't whether or not you should go to school, it is can you handle it? I am a single mother of two. I don't have any family around to help me out. Luckily, I had the opportunity to finish school while they were very young. I always think that I should have gone into the medical field, in some capacity. But, it is too late now. I don't mean that it would be impossible, I mean that the hours for school are time consuming and the medical field, in general , requires many hours that would keep me from my children. I like having a regular Monday through Friday 8-5 job. I have holidays off and every weekend. You will have to decide, for yourself, what you want for you and your son. I may not have a lot of money, but I am rich in so many other ways. I know parents who work at 24 hour stores, they are always tired and their kids suffer. I know single mothers who work in the medical field and they work lots of weekends and their children suffer, too. So, ask yourself: What is my priority for my son? Money and material things or a mother who can be their when he needs her? Best of luck in whatever you decide.
3 :
Hi! My daughter just got her nursing degree. She did it by taking online classes at first. She ran a day care at home while doing this. It was tough for her since she was married and had three kids. So, she not only ran the day care but took care of the family's needs as well. She did this for a couple of years before going to a physical building and the hospital to take the rest of her courses. By then the girls were in school and she had to take their youngest son to a day care. He was three at the time. She was away from her children maybe 4-5 hrs. a day. Can you have your dad watch him for a couple of hours and then maybe hiring someone in your family to baby sit for the other times? My daughter is in Mexico with her family until December. She is working as a school nurse at an American school. When they get back she'll be able to find a good job anywhere. It's mostly guaranteed that a nurse will find a job. There are so many incentive programs out there. One of the incentives is that the hospital would pay her $15,000 up front and then pay her $50,000/yr. to start. What I'm saying is that you'll be able to provide even more for your child. She's only got her Assoc. degree for now but she is continuing her education on line in Mexico. She's trying to work to receive her Bachelor's. Later down the road she'd like to be a Nurse Practitioner. Well, good luck in whatever you decide. God Bless. :)
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