Nursing and Single Parenthood?
Ok, I'm a single mum as the title says, my son is 18 months old and I'm 21, his dad isn't involved, and we're English. When he was born, I applied to study nursing in London (I live about two hours away so we'd move). To my amazement I was given an unconditional offer at one of the two top places in the country to do it. I ended up deferring that year as it was looking difficult to start it all then with my son so young. Then by the end of last year things were looking pretty impossible. I'd be working irregular shifts, including the odd very occasional nightshift, leading to massive childcare problems, I think the only way I could do it was if I had an au pair, which would mean needing an extra room which I don't know if I could afford. I'd be working many hours a day and then coming home and having to do more work and I was worrying I'd get no time with my son. And I'd be in London, and although it's my dream to move away and start a new life elsewhere and this is probably my only opportunity, the fact that I have a baby and no friends or family around there is a bit nervewracking. So I ended up declining my place, and now I'm studying an Open University degree in history from home, which is ok but not particularly inspiring if I'm honest, and I still live with my dad which is driving me slowly insane. However now they've been sending me welcome letters and I've just had an answerphone message asking if I'm still going to be attending in September, so they have obviously neglected to record the fact that I've withdrawn, so it feels like I've been given another opportunity. I need to ring back today or tomorrow and let them know and I just don't know what to do. Everything seems to be pointing against me doing it, but it just feels like I'm turning down a massive opportunity to study somewhere really good and be directed straight into a stable career. And this is my last chance, because in future years they are getting rid of the diploma in nursing, and I don't have the qualifications to get onto the degree. However I would not sacrifice my relationship with my son for anything in the world. But I really don't know if it's going to be as bad as I'm imagining. I also think that, even when I'm done studying, working as a nurse and being a single mother is going to mean I'm missing a lot of things for my son. His birthday is 3 days after Christmas so statistically I would miss at least one of these occasions every year, for example, and I hate the thought of him being stuck with relatives without me. Has anybody done this, or been close to anybody who has? Be completely honest with me - is it a viable option for a single parent, both the studying and the actual career? Or do I need to say goodbye to it and keep doing what I'm doing now?
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i can't say ive ever actually been given an opportunity such as you but i do know that ive held back a lot from moving to a new place and pursuing new things due to having kids. ive always thought i would take the chance if ever given an actual opportunity. my want to move away from where i live now and my dreams to get back into a career that i love are high but, as you stated, i have no family elsewhere and i often worry about the childcare issue. if i had a real reason to go id like to think that i would but i guess i just haven't been given a real reason yet. i do think that it would probably be a lot easier than i think and that we would be able to adjust and i would find a way to make things work, but since i have no real reason to ive just stuck with what i have here and what im doing now, hoping some day ill be given an opportunity to actually do what i want. as for your situation, i think you have definitely been given an extra opportunity that you should seriously consider. you have mentioned many times that you feel it is time to move out of your father's house and this would be the perfect reason/opportunity. plus, you get the chance at a career that you'll be really happy in. sure there will be hard times and sacrifices, but that comes with everything in life. it might be hard, but im sure you would find a way to make things work.
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